Baby Boomer Humor

May 17, 2009 at 6:19 am (humor)

If you are not there yet, you will be if you are one of the lucky ones to see the 60’s. However since the 60’s are the new 40’s, maybe you will be able to put it off for a few more years.

Questions and Answers from an AARP Forum

Q: Where can men over the age
of 60 find younger, sexy
women who are interested
in them?

A: Try a bookstore under fiction.

Q: What can a man do while his
wife is going through
menopause?

A: Keep busy. If you’re handy with
tools, you can finish the basement.
When you’re done you’ll have a
place to live.

Q: How can you increase the
heart rate of your 60-plus
year old husband?

A: Tell him you’re pregnant.

Q: How can you avoid that
terrible curse of the elderly
wrinkles?

A: Take off your glasses.

Q: Why should 60-plus year old
people use valet parking?

A: Valets don’t forget where they
park your car.

Q: Is it common for 60-plus year
olds to have problems with
short term memory storage?

A: Storing memory is not a problem,
Retrieving it is the problem.

Q: As people age, do they sleep
More soundly?

A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q: Where should 60-plus year
olds look for eye glasses?

A: On their foreheads.

Q: What is the most common
remark made by 60-plus
year olds when they enter
antique stores?

A: “Gosh, I remember these!”

SMILE, You’ve still got your sense of humor, RIGHT?

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The Tea Party~Humor

March 7, 2009 at 10:10 pm (humor)

This is not my story but from an email that I got from my
top source for funny emails. I wish I thought some of this stuff up.


Cup of Tea

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me.

I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident.

Someone had given me a little ‘tea set’ as a get-well gift and it was
One of my favorite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I
Brought Daddy a little cup of ‘tea’, which was just water. After several
Cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home.

My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of
Tea, because it was ‘just the cutest thing!’
My Mom waited, and sure
enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she
watches him drink it up.

Then she says, (as only a mother would know.. 🙂

‘Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water
Is the toilet?’

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Have You Taken This IQ Test?

March 6, 2009 at 7:09 pm (humor, Smile Makers) (, , , , , )

It seems no matter how many times I take this, I still manage to surprise myself with the results.

Dementia Quiz

Below are four (4 ) questions and a Bonus question to test your perception, reasoning and the quickness of your logical processing.
They are stated simply so you should try to answer them instantly ..
To assure the accuracy of the results, you should not take your time; but instead, answer each of them immediately.

OK?

Let’s find out just how clever you really are….

Ready? GO!!! (scroll down slowly to uncover Q’s and A’s )

First Question :

You are a participant in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<
Answer : If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely WRONG! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, YOU are in second place!

Try not to screw up next time. Now answer the second question, but don’t take as much time as you took for the first question, OK?

Second Question :
I f you overtake the last person, then you are…?
(scroll down)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~

Answer : If you answered that you are second to last, then you are ; ; ; ;WRONG again. Tell me Sunshine, how can you overtake the LAST person??

You’re not very good at this, are you?

Third Question :
V ery tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator .
Try it.

Take 1000 and add 40 to it.. Now add another 1000 Now add 30 . Add another 1000 . Now add 20 . Now add another 1000 . Now add 10 . What is the total?

Scroll down for the correct answer…..

~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Did you get 5000 ?

The correct answer is actually 4100 ..

If you don’t believe it, check it with a calculator!
To day is definitely not your day, is it?

Maybe you’ll get the last question right… Maybe…

Fourth Question:

Mary’s father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono, and ? ?? What is the name of the fifth daughter?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Did you Answer Nunu? NO! Of course it isn’t.
Her name is Mary you retard! Read the question again!

Okay, now the Bonus round ,
I.e., a final chance to
Redeem yourself:

A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.
Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s really very simple
He opens his mouth and ask for it….

Does your employer actually pay you to think??
If so Do NOT let them see your answers for this test!

PASS THIS ON TO FRUSTRATE THE
SMART PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE!
Have a nice day, one and all.

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