Maxine for President

June 16, 2008 at 7:25 pm (Smile Makers) (, , )


Maxine on ‘Driver Safety’ ‘I can’t use the cell phone in the car. I have to keep my hands free for making gestures.’

…… Maxine on ‘Housework, ‘I do my housework in the nude. It gives me an incentive to clean the mirrors as quickly as possible.’

Maxine on ‘Lawn Care’ The key to a nice-looking lawn is a good mower. I recommend one who is muscular and shirtless.’

Maxine on ‘The Perfect Man’ ‘All I’m looking for is a guy who’ll do what I want, when I want, for as long as I want, and then go away. Or wait nearby, like a Dust Buster, charged up and ready when needed.’

Maxine on ‘Technology Revolution ‘My idea of rebooting is kicking somebody in the butt twice.’

Maxine on ‘Aging’ ‘Take every birthday with a grain of salt. This works much better if the salt accompanies a Margarita.’


The only two things we do with greater frequency in middle age are urinate and attend funerals .

The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

To err is human, to forgive: highly unlikely.

Do you realize that in about 40 years, we’ll have millions of old ladies running around with tattoos and pierced navels? (Now that’s scary!)

Money can’t buy happiness–but somehow it’s more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than a Kia.

After a certain age, if you don’t wake up aching somewhere…you may be dead.

There’s no one better for the job. MAXINE HAS MY VOTE.

This was from an email I received.  Well I think Maxine is honest.  That is more then we can say for most who are in politics.

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Pecans In The Cemetery-Or Nuts!

June 13, 2008 at 9:11 pm (Smile Makers) (, , , )


On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just
inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys climbed over the fence,
filled up a bucketful of nuts, sat down by the tree out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.

‘One for you, one for me One for you, one for me,’ said one boy. While
they were doing this several nuts dropped and rolled down toward the fence.

Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he
thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to
investigate. Sure enough, he heard,

‘One for you, one for me. One for
you, one for me.’

He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just
around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.
‘Come here quick,’ said the boy, ‘you won’t believe what I heard! Satan
and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls.’

The man said, ‘Beat it kid, can’t you see it’s hard for me to walk.’ When
the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.

Standing by the fence they heard, ‘One for you, one for me. One for you,
one for me.’

The old man whispered, ‘Boy, you’ve been tellin’ me the truth.? Let’s see if we can see the Lord.’

Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of
the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.

At last they heard, ‘One for you, one for me. That’s all. Now let’s go get those nuts by the fence and we’ll be done.’

They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of the kid on the bike!

SMILE, God Loves You

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I Love To Go Sailing

June 12, 2008 at 9:10 am (Motivation-Inspiration, Random Rambles) (, , , , , , )

I grew up at the beach. One of my friends had a small sailboat and we used to sail around the bay in Long Beach, CA in it. When I graduated from high school I used some of my graduation present money to get a 14 foot sail boat and then we sailed out around the oil islands and where ever the wind would take us outside of the bay.

Several nights as the sun set the wind would die and I would end up being towed back to where I kept my boat. That was embarrassing. You just can’t beat the feeling of wind power, until it stops. It is great that people show mercy on girls paddling a sailboat. Also never be too proud not to accept a helping hand.

I still sail when I can but I kayak, too. That is just as peaceful. I read Mark Twain’s book, Roughing It , when I was in high school. I have reread it twice since then. That is such a fun book. You can live life through his experiences. One part I always think about is his description of Lake Tahoe, and floating out in the lake in a canoe and just staring into the water. I have not done that at Lake Tahoe, but I have spent several hours at a nearby lake doing that very same thing, and following the fishes. It is so much fun to be as still as possible and watch the fishes doing fish stuff. Can fish be curious? Did you ever think of that?

Here is a video I ran across and it is such a great mood. It captures the feeling of Sailing as does the song by Christopher Cross. I hope you take 4 minutes out of your busy life to enjoy it.

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